I never stop thinking about suicide.

Over the past few months, I have started thinking that suicide might be my destiny; what I'm supposed to do, since nothing that I have said about the conglomerate's abuse of me has mattered.  

I never stopped thinking about suicide last year or the year before that or the year before that; I haven't stopped thinking about it every day since the conglomerate began to sexually harass me in 2010.  I have lived in spite of it, but I never stop thinking about it, and I don't think that even my death would stop the conglomerate from treating me as if I have wanted or deserved what has happened to me.  

I'm at a train station.  I could do it now.  Only the threat of physical pain has stopped me from doing it every time that I have taken the train since I have lived in Boston; since 2011.  

I wish I had killed myself when I was a teenager.  I wish that I were never born.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Crazy, Slutty, Conceited Lena; thankfully, people such as Jared Leto protect everyone from her.

Image
2016: ________ _________ __________ __________ __________ __________ Gosh, however did he manage to have a career?  (That's me, Crazy, Slutty, Conceited Lena, talking.) __________ __________ __________ (If he had gotten caught, what would his life be like?  Why didn't he get caught, in a country where black men can't drive their own cars without the risk of being stopped?) _________ __________ __________ https://www.rollingstone.com/movies/features/jared-leto-the-unlikely-triumphs-of-a-rock-star-movie-star-w430833
Read more

Macy's anti-union training video

I was surprised and grateful when Macy's in Boston hired me to work for the 2017-2018 holiday season.  Most of the people with whom I worked were nice and it was fun. Being from Vermont, I had always thought of Macy's as being very ritzy; I think that is Macy's reputation around the world, and perhaps that reputation was accurate in the past.  Unfortunately, the store in Boston is physically disintegrating from what seems to me to be neglect at the corporate office level.  I sent emails about that to Macy's human resources before my employment was ended.  Hopefully, someone will read them and stop this famous American store from being run into the ground.  If the store can be saved, I'd also like to mention that several customers asked about gift-wrapping during the holiday season, and they were all disappointed that Macy's stopped offering that amenity years ago.   Also; I was shocked that part of the training for employment was to watch a video portraying unio
Read more

Nobody should think that threatening me with voyeurism and involuntary pornography will make me say what you want me to say, or not say what you don't want me to say.

When I realized that these crimes had started to happen to me, I also knew that people would threaten me with them whenever they didn't like what I was saying.   My response to that was to publish pages about how threatening me with these sexual assaults would not make me say what the people threatening me wanted me to say.   That was in 2011.  Since then, the sexual assaults have escalated so that they are treated as if they are normal, funny and what I deserve.   ALTHOUGH I WISH I WERE NEVER BORN AND NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT KILLING MYSELF, THOSE ASSAULTS DON'T MAKE ME SAY WHAT THE PEOPLE WHO THREATEN ME WITH THEM WANT ME TO SAY, AND THEY DON'T STOP ME FROM SAYING WHAT THEY DON'T WANT ME TO SAY. THE SICK, SADISTIC, ILLEGAL VIDEOS OF ME AREN'T MY CRIMES!  THEY ARE EVIDENCE OF CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST ME, AND PEOPLE WHO USE THEM TO TRY TO INTIMIDATE ME SHOULD BE ASHAMED! DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M TELLING YOU?!  THIS IS YOUR SHAME!  IT'S NOT MY SHAME!  STOP FORCI
Read more