Maybe Hillsong Church will ask me to guest-edit its 2018 hymnal.

That would be a daunting task.  Who could improve upon classics such as:

"G-d, Save Me From The B-List"

"I Flashed The World And It's OK"

"I'm A Drug Addict And It's OK"

"I'm A Tax-Evader And It's OK"

"I'm a Child Molester And It's OK"

"I Bully People To Death And It's OK"

"I Cheat On My Spouse Whenever I'm Not Inebriated And It's OK"

There should probably be a section for the Medium-Age Classics.  I'd start that section with:

"G-d Loves Me In My Underwear; It's Better Than Posing For Calvin Klein"

Then I'd end with a flourish; the unforgettable, instantly famous, consistently lucrative New Classic that people can't stop talking about: 

"Clap Your Hands If You Know That Lena's Just A Jealous, Old Whore"


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