Thank you; I wish that the therapist whom I told had known or cared to know, but she didn't.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/01/31/style/sex-pain-causes-solutions.html?action=click&module=Smarter%20Living&pgtype=Homepage


After my having told her, for months, that it hurt EVERY TIME that I had sex with men whom I didn't think I should be dating but whom she told me I wanted to reject because I was "self-sabotaging," she finally said "Maybe you have an infection in your vagina."  

Not once could I tell her anything negative that she would not try to tell me I had to think of as if it were positive. If she said something negative about me, of course she thought that I had to think it was true.  

I was a virgin until I was 27, and I stopped having sex at 29; I was her client during all of that time.  I haven't had sex since; I'll be 44 this summer.  

Despite the global slut-shaming that the conglomerate has inflicted on me for 8 years, I have never had sex that didn't hurt, except for one time that it didn't feel like anything.  During the past few years that the conglomerate's criminal invasions of my privacy and leering degradation haven't slackened despite my celibacy (I haven't even kissed anyone since 2010), it has started to seem more probable than not that I'll eventually be in menopause without having had good sex even once in my life. 

Obviously, not being attracted to men wasn't the issue when I was that therapist's client, nor was not having the ability to have an orgasm the issue; those things were never issues for me.  If I weren't attracted to men, then the conglomerate wouldn't have had so many chances to ridicule me for having the need to interact with men.  My having refused to totally subdue that need, despite the misogynist expectation that women who are being slut-shamed should be asexual to avoid triggering more abuse, has had the consequences of more slut-shaming that the conglomerate is delighted to mete out.  There are few things that the conglomerate likes as much as hurting women, so although I have said all of this before, my discussions of my life are almost never the stories about me that the conglomerate circulates; it much prefers rumors that it can exaggerate or embellish to make everyone think that I deserve to be videotaped against my will in the shower and on the toilet.  

If you haven't had it happen to you, you don't know how totally the mental health care system can turn you into a version of yourself that is dysfunctional.  Since this happens all the time, and since the mental health care system never admits to being a disaster, and since society is happy to blame mental health care clients for the system's screw-ups, people kill themselves, especially after being bullied for years by people who think it's funny to call them crazy.

 

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