I never stop thinking about suicide.

Over the past few months, I have started thinking that suicide might be my destiny; what I'm supposed to do, since nothing that I have said about the conglomerate's abuse of me has mattered.  

I never stopped thinking about suicide last year or the year before that or the year before that; I haven't stopped thinking about it every day since the conglomerate began to sexually harass me in 2010.  I have lived in spite of it, but I never stop thinking about it, and I don't think that even my death would stop the conglomerate from treating me as if I have wanted or deserved what has happened to me.  

I'm at a train station.  I could do it now.  Only the threat of physical pain has stopped me from doing it every time that I have taken the train since I have lived in Boston; since 2011.  

I wish I had killed myself when I was a teenager.  I wish that I were never born.  

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